my new life,being stronger girl

okey.since i wrote this blog,i've started my new life alone,far away from my family and all the people i love.and the most important thing, i can be a stronger women,unlike before.
it started, when i and ex-shit-bf decided to do the LDR.i thought,whatever it took,we were gonna be fine,keeping our love,we were gonna be a dream couple.it took about three months,till it happened.
for three months,i was soo busy with my new-independent life.i lived alone,i do everything myself,like washing my own clothes and else.i even forget to eat.and i became slimmer,i thought.and,i became like a devil.we rarely spent time together,and so far i thought he was still my "him".i always thought,he knew about my new condition,he was the one who understood everything about me.but I WAS DEFINITELY WRONG.he wasn't.He was just an ordinary man,that can't be alone.i think he felt lonely.he needed someone by him side.he told me to make this relation over.i was shocked.i never thought that this would happen.and i wondered,he didn't cry when he said it.i was a bit curious.and i asked him to not do that.i didn't care what people say about me,what my friends said about me.i just didn't want it happen.for the whole one week,i always asked him not to do that.i wanted us back.i really did that for one week!
and i was really wondering because he didn't cry.unlike usual.usually,when it happened,we both cry.
and for the whole one week,i asked him why he did that to me.there were several reasons that i could accept:
1. he wanted to focus on his final exams.
2. he wanted to be someone better,without thinking about this complicated relationship
3.he said that his parents wanted it,i loved his parents so much,i appreciated it.

because of the third reason, i couldn't do anything else.i loved his parents soo much.i wanted them to be happy.i wanted to help them.then i let it happen to me.
we promised to not make any relationship with anyone till a got back home on this december.

day by day, i felt something wrong.i always ask him about a girl that i was very curious about.he always said "no,i dont have any relationship with her"
i decided to trust him.and finally,when i got this curious higher,i lied to him.i told him that the girl had told me that they were together.firstly,he didnt want to say the truth.but finally,he did.it was a YES.i felt like i was on the top of the mountain,then i fell down.

that was the last time i talked to him.i told all my family,they were so sad.my sister and my cousin also cried,just like me.it's been 4 years,and he broke it just because a girl whom i know so much,and the girl KNOWS ME ALSO AS HIS GF!
imagine how damn she is.i think,as a girl,she should know how i feel.but she doesnt have any feelings so i dont wonder it.

i need almost 2 weeks to recovery my self.my dad,my mom,my sister,my cousin,my aunt,and everyone helped me to recovery myself.then a few days later,i called his mom just to say sorry and thank you so much FOR HIS MOM.

his mom was soo shocked about this information.she wanted me to be with her son.i had done anything i could to not let it happen.but i couldnt push him.he wanted it.his mom said that she really loves me(until now i think).we are still sending message to make sure that im okay here,and so is she.she always says she loves me so much.and of course,i love her like i love my mom.she always asks about my condition here,she prays for me always.

but now,i have to be struggle here,alone.a quote from my dad(love you dad)that really support me was : "you're lucky,you were told right nor.you know how damn he is right now,think if you both have been married and he did that to you.that would hurt your heart more."

and i wonder right now,is he really love that girl or just "pelarian" only?
who knows.people have their own opinion.only he and God know about that feelings.
and if it is,poor girl!

and now,thank you DAMN much for my ex-shit-bf, now i can be a stronger,more independent, and tougher girl.i can think for my better future,i can do better.all my focus now,my parents,how i can make them happy.

and now, i realize many things:
1.i DO never give you what you want,i DO always give you what you need,and now,i give you love and pleasure.
2.I have done anything i could to not make it happen.and it failed.and,i will never go back for my ex for the whole of my life!whatever will happen,it would never happen
3.and NOW when i wrote this blog,I ACTUALLY DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR LIFE ANYMORE!i have my own life,so do you.it's your choice.being with that girl.have fun with your new damn life!
4.He is absolutely not THE BEST for me!
5.i trust "karma",whether for the boy or the girl.May god replies it.it's not my job
6.i will always love his mom.







and now,I HAVE MY NEW LIFE HERE,and my goals are my family,and their happiness.

May Allah bless me

twilight

ya ampuuunnn.aku tadi iseng2 buka twitter.terus ada yang statusnya bilang "what do you think about new moon trailer?"
langsung tanpa kata2 aku ke warnet langsung online,buka you tube,search new moon trailer.daaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnn!!!aku udah nonton trailernya!!!
gilaaaaaa!!!it was great!!edward nyium bella,terus dia ditinggal edward di hutan sendirian..kasiaaann...terus pas mau dimakan james di hutan, bella ditolong sama jacob,,he changed himself in to a werewolf..jacobnya jadi tambah kekar gitu.six pack badannya.tapi tidak mengalahkan edward.bagaimana dngan kelanjutannya?????gak sabar nungguin filmnya tayang!!!!!

My friend's bday party

Firstly,thanks a lot to eka putri for inviting me to your 17th party.it was so much fun!
Well,aku ni baru pulang dr ultahnya eka,jam 11 mlm.tdk terlalu pagi memang.tp sgt mlm.gpp.having so much fun.seneng bgt diundang.pas pertama2 gt tak kira ga diundang.tnyata mungkin dy gatau nomerku jd aku ga disms.berkat yanda si gulagula jdnya dia sms aku trs ngundang aku.well well well.cpek bgt.aku kasih dy bantal babi.eh,tp berkat acara ini aku bhasil dandan sndiri!hha!i did it!okeoke.sekarang aku mau curhat.hha.
Td ad tmn2 smp ku.tnyata mreka gatau aku ikt aksel.bgt tau aku ikt aksel,pd kget smw(g pcya sm otakq mgkn.hha).trs mreka tnya aku mw kuliah dmn,krn ada yanda dan fildza yg uda tau aku diterima dmn,dijawabla sm mreka.kok pd kget smw,aku jd salting de.bingung.mksdku ntr aja dikasi tw nya.tp kt yanda,uda,gpp,ntar qm dkra sombong.ywd q ksh tw.tp kok skrg kesannya kayaknya aku sombong bgt ya?pdhl aku gamau kyk gt.yaALLAH,maafkan hambaMu ini,telah sombong.maaf y Allah.maaf ya teman2,aku tdk bmaksud kok..luv y all..
Have an ice cream.good sleep..

my favorite stuff

those are my favorite things.
red bag:
well,,itu tas kasual yang aku sering pake kemana2.ke mall atau main2 doang.ya kalo acaranya gag begitu penting atau cuma sante2 aja ya aku selalu bawa tas itu.apapun warna bajunya.tapi biasanya aku pake baju warna item,jadi ya cocok2 aja si menurutku.i bought it my self.di sutos.cuma aku gag tau nama tokonya.untung deh aku beli tas itu.waktu aku beli tas itu emang aku belum begitu suka sama warna pink.tapi sekarang karna aku suka warna pink,i feel very lucky!bentuknya lucu and that's my favorite color!
green ipod:
tiba tiba telintas dipikiranku beli ipod.gatau kenapa.soalnya waktu itu di tabunganku ada uang lumayan(tumben soalnya itu tabungan gag bocor.biasanya asal gesek aja..hwaha.gaya).terus ook kan mau dapet duit banyak.jadi uangnya minta ook.sisanya minta mbak rateh.hhaha.pemeras ulung.jadi...uang jajan bulan lalu+uang jajan bulan setelah bulan lalu+minta ook+ditambahin mbak rateh=MY GREEN IPOD!!
tapi sebenernya banyakan ook urunannya..hhe.tapi ipodnya sangat berguna sekali.kenapa ijo,karena waktu itu aku pikir lucu,ternyata ya biasanya aja.tapi tetp aja i bought it with the rest of my pocket money.butuh perjuangan itu biar gag nurutin setan belanja!
dvd twilight:
THIS IS THE MOST OF ALL!sebenernya ya gag juga si.cuma ganteng aja rob nya..siapa yang gag mengakui dia ganteng perlu diperiksa itu jiwanya.kemungkinan mengidap penyakit gila.ya iyala!!!orang semanis itu dan seganteng itu kok dibilang gag ganteng.terlalu bodoh itu(hahaha).oh ya.aku juga beli itu pake duitku sendiri.karena udah ngebet, begitu ditransfer duitnya(udah bocor soalnya) langsung ke disc tarra dan menggesek my magic card.dapet deh.tapi seminggu gak aku buka plastiknya,soalnya aku masih ulangan.jadi sekitar seminggu sesudahnya baru aku buka.tapi yang aku liat cuma special featurenya.manissss banget.gula pasir aja kalah.(ya iya.lha wong aku udah nonton 5 kali.apal deh cerita sama omongan pemainnya!)

baby rafi

that is baby rafi..ma lovely nephew..sekarang udah satu bulan lebih.kamlo masih umur segitu tu udah bisa liat sekitar dengan jelas ga se??
aku baru dari rumahnya.menjenguk.katanya mbak rateh(mamanya.mintanya dipanggil mama.padahal kerenan bunda,i think)masa dia nyusu dari jam SEMBILAN PAGI sampe aku di sana tadi tu jam TIGA SORE!udah gitu belum selese.abis dimandiin jam empatan gitu(based on the schedule)kan nangis lagi,,itu ngempeng LAGI!!kasian de mamanya.maksudnya,,kasian de lu mamanya..hha..just kidding.namanya juga kodrat seorang ibuk.sabaaaarrrr.biar tambah gede.
kalo dimandiin yaa,,ga bisa diem.mencal2 terus kakinya.bakat perenang itu kayaknya.trus katanya kalo tidur udah muter2.tadi aku diceritain, katanya mbak rateh, pas malem gitu kan tidur, pas mbak rateh kebangun rafi kok ga ada di tempat bubuknya,,ternyata di mana sodarasodara?on his mom's back!!gila.selain perenang bakat pemain sirkus dia..hha.
well,today was not good at all..biasa..bosan melanda diriku.
gatau harus ngapain.kok kalo pagi mesti morning sick yaaa?maksudnya mesti buete tenan.sensitif sekali.marah2 aja pengennya.trus,ada kabar baru tentang my college-will-be..katanya ospeknya satu bulan.waaawww..ngapain aja ya itu????sempet mandi gag ya.......??????
okee..good news..aku sudah berhasil mengganti template blog ku yang terlihat membosankan dengan warna coklat yang biasa ajaa...
this is the new blog,,the new pink...WELCOME, reader!!!

The journey of finding the new member of my magic box

Hi!ni lg ol lwt hape.jd mobile blog.agak bete si,soalnya layarnya kecil bgt(FYI,hapeku ga bgs2 amat.at least bs buat facebook sm update blog)
Today's story:
Aku nemenin ibuk ke bg junction,ada urusan gt.trs mampir ke department store nya(inisial:CHY).Aku misah deh akhrnya.ook kan ikut.aku nyari2 anggota baru buat magic box q(tebak hayoo).udah nemu kan.tp ga jd beli.kata ookq"cari di blauran aja.murah.barangnya sama"
Agak ga pcaya karena blauran kn pasar.takutnya ada campuran bahan yg membahayakan.yasud.tp dcoba dlu aja.udah bete bgt itu.perut laper bgt.nah,ibuk kn lg byr di kasir CHY,kasirnya uda ga senyum,trus ibuk kan bayarnya pake kartu,lamaa bener dia geraknya.ya emang di approve kartunya agak lm kali yaa..tp si kasir ini lamaa bgt de geraknya.trus,dimana2 aku taunya kalo customer pake kartu,pas di kembaliin kartunya tuh bilang "ini ibu,terima kasih" atau apa gtu trs kartunya dikash pake DUA TANGAN.ini enggak!enggak pake makasih,krtu dksh pke 1 tangan kyk sm tukang becak aja.lg bete kan tu,barang belanjaan lngsng ku ambil aja.gedubrakgedubrak.bunyi2 gt.ibukq malah bilang"pelan2 to!kayak orang intelektual rendah aja!"what???hello!yg intelektual rendah si mbak itu kali!apa ga punya intelektual y??mungkin ajaa..!kalo uda masalah intelektual saya agak sensitif
Well,lanjut.bhubung blauran di depan bg junction,jalan kaki aja.mobil dparkir d parkiran bg junction.smpe di situ,bener tnyata.barang yg aku cari harganya cuma 53100 rupiing!wktu di mal aku cek 75rbu.lumayan kn selisihnya!yasud.tnpa pikir panjang langsung diambil itu barang.trs kita makan b3.aku mommy dan ook.
Pelajaran hari ini:
Kalo mau ngisi "magic box" cari di blauran aja.walopun pasar,harga murah,barang sama!tenang aja.uda ga ada orang minta2.KATANYA sudah dilarang.udah bnyk pengamanan yg njaga2.hopefully,buat seterusnya,jd kt2 yg mw belanja ke sana gak kawatir lg!

Oh my gosh!i got the red shoes!td kan aku gondok berat,gara2 macet berat di wonokromo ga bs gerak jdnya.trs rencananya mau ke ptc ga jd.yawda aku dan mommy muter balik jauh lewat darmokali.lwt nginden dulu.kan akhrny lwt sutos.yasud k situ aja.jalan2 aja.eh ketemu soulmateku(haha..lebai).ada red shoes!lngsng aja aku beli.sempet bingung beli apa gak.tp y namanya soulmate.mau gmn lg..hha..berhasillah dia menguras atmku!yasud.mau nyocol lele penyet dulu.laparr..

first impression

hi! this is my first blog, and i have to learn for maybe not more than 2 hours about how to make it.
yeah,,well, hope y'll like it!